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QuintEssentials: A Weekly Look at Leadership |
Leaders, let me paint you a picture. You’re in your office at the end of a long, tough day. You’re tying up some loose ends and looking forward to relaxing with your spouse, a cold drink, and the evening news. Suddenly, your employee Rick appears in your doorway wearing an anxious expression. Oh no, you groan inwardly, pasting on your friendliest my-door-is-always-open smile. I know what this is about. He’s here about the raise he requested last week. Even though he is a high performer, the company just can’t afford pay increases right now. And I have no idea how to tell him. Can you relate to this scenario? Most leaders can. And if you’re like many of us (yes, I’ve done it, too!), you probably scrambled to come up with a way to break the bad news without looking like the bad guy. You may have said: “Rick, I can understand how you feel.” (You want to show empathy, right?) “If it were up to me, it wouldn’t have been like that,” you continue. “But you know pay raises are really out of my hands. That’s something Human Resources dictates.” Now, Rick feels better about not getting a raise. He may even see you as a friend. Unfortunately, it’s happened at the expense of another department. This example illustrates what I call the we/they phenomenon. It runs rampant in many organizations. And nine times out of ten, it doesn’t happen because a leader wants to put down HR or corporate or whomever. It happens because he or she doesn’t know how not to do it. We/theyism is rarely a deliberate choice. Rather, it’s the natural fallback position of someone who hasn’t had formal leadership training. We don’t intend to subtly shift the blame to someone else, but we do so anyway, and for the most human of reasons: to make other people like us. Blame shifting happens every day in every industry. Did your meal arrive cold or undercooked? It’s not the server’s fault; the kitchen is understaffed. Does your new computer fail to operate properly? It’s not a hardware problem; the software’s at fault. Are new employees struggling? The recruiting department hired weak candidates. Make no mistake: We/theyism is deeply destructive. It can cause an organization’s flywheel—that self-perpetuating energy-and-enthusiasm cycle that keeps employees striving for excellence—to grind to a halt. Employees like the aforementioned “Rick” may get disgusted enough to leave. They may think, “I like my boss, but I don’t like this company.” And when that happens, the boss may have won the battle, but he lost the war. So, speaking of Rick and his thwarted raise, how should that situation have been handled? Perhaps you, our hypothetical leader, could have said the following: “Rick, first of all, I am sorry you feel this way. Certainly, you are an excellent worker. Each year, our company does a survey of all positions to make sure we are competitive in the marketplace. Let me explain how pay structure is decided. I am so sorry you are not pleased, but I do feel the process we use is a fair one.” (Then, move on to highlight other items, such as benefits, that are part of Rick’s overall compensation.) See the difference? You’d have done what I call “managing up,” which basically means positioning others (in this case, salary decision makers) in a positive light. You also would have framed your company as a united entity. Overcoming the we/they mentality is not brain surgery, but you must be trained to do it. When Studer Group holds our coaching seminars, attendees consistently label it “the number-one thing for my organization to stop doing.” Most of us can see this flaw in ourselves—and when it’s brought to our attention, we can start to fix it. This is one of those small changes that pack a surprisingly powerful punch. End we/theyism and morale will soar. Employees will be more productive. Customers will be happier. And since no chasm looms between we and they—there’s only one, unified we—your whole company can move together, in harmony, toward greatness. # # #
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